Note: This is from back in the day when my obsession with Cid Highwind and Final Fantasy VII was…normal. Now it’s just fucking insane. Either way, enjoy, this has to be my wrost written document EVER, but screw it anyway.

THE CRISIS

ROCKET TOWN 9:15 AM

Rianna stood quietly in the kitchen fixing Cid and her some breakfast. She hummed a peaceful tune and smiled as she worked. Cid had always been a little…rustic. But she loved that old bastard anyway.

But today…

Cid Highwind strolled out of the bathroom and sat down at the small kitchen table. His tea was waiting for him, as usual, and he drank it happily. More happily that usual which was surprising. Something was definitely wrong.

“You’re cheery this morning,” Rianna said. Cid grinned at her. Something was different about him. She looked a bit closer and noticed the little something. “You forgot to shave today, Cid.”

He looked dumbly at her. She began to realize something was strange. “I said – you forgot to shave today.”

He pretended to ignore her and read his newspaper.

“CID! Didn’t you hear me?”

He looked at her and sent her a stupid grin. “Look, I’ll keep this beard nice and trim.”

She didn’t believe her ears. “A beard?! Are you nuts?!”

“Look, Ria I ran these digitalized pictures of me with a beard.” He pulled out some copies of photos of himself and handed them to her. “Here’s me with ‘Sheriff of Nottingham’. Here’s me with ‘Tom Hanks’. Here’s me with ‘Abraham Lincoln’.” He watched her face twist this way and that. “So, what do you think?”

Rianna walked away from him and into the bathroom. She came with a can of shaving cream and shook it. “This is me with a can of Barasol…”

“Rianna! Come on!”

Rianna shook her head and sighed. “I’ll think this over.”

I’m winning, Cid thought. “Well, think it over all ya want. I’m going over to the Highwind.”

 

 

A few days passed. They continued to argue. One day, Cloud, Barret, Vincent, and Tifa paid them an unexpected visit.

“Don’t you think I look good with a beard?” Cid asked. He turned to Vincent. His face began to involuntarily twitch and his forehead broke a sweat. Within seconds, the man who was once goth-ed out was rolling about the floor in a fit of a laughing spasm.

“What’s so FUCKING funny?!” Cid yelled. “I’m going to the Highwind.”

“Dude, somebody get some smelling salts over here,” Cloud said, watching Vincent roll around. He was nearly in tears now.

“That wasn’t very nice, Vinnie,” Tifa said.

“The foo’!” Barret exclaimed. “He thinks he looks all high an’ mighty!”

“HA HA HA!!! HEe HEE! (cough, cough) AH HA HA!!” went Vincent.

“I told him he looked ridiculous,” Rianna muttered.

That night, after everyone left, Cid came over to Rianna and tried to persuade her into liking his new grown stubble. “You know, I think this makes me look rugged…”

No answer. She sat quietly, ignoring him, and read her book.

“…rugged, and…sexy,” he persisted, tilting his brow.

She shot him a sharp I-don’t-think-it’s-funny glance. “If you, Cid, think for a moment that my lips are coming near THAT, whatever is on your face…”

Rianna didn’t have to finish her sentence. Still Cid tried. “Well, I think rugged outta do.”

“Dear lord,” Rianna muttered.

That night, she made him sleep on the floor.

 When Cid awoke, his back was aching and his neck hurt. But that didn’t discourage him. After doing his morningly duties, sans shaving, Cid marched out and saw Rianna sitting in the same spot on the kitchen table where she had always sat. Unusually, she smiled cheerfully at him.

“You know, Cid, if you want to grow a hideous beard, that’s up to you. It’s your face. I won’t object.”

Cid was overjoyed. He threw his hands up into the air and laughed. “Ha ha! I knew I’d win this one! I knew it!”

His happiness didn’t last long. Rianna smiled slyly. “…of course, there ARE my leg hairs…”

His eyes widened into a death look and his cigarette fell to the floor. “You wouldn’t…”

 

~Fin~

THE BATHROOM

“I’d thought I’d win,” Rianna said approvingly.

“Fucking bitch”